Thursday, April 12, 2012

Really? Come on...A Sociopath?.....

I don’t think anyone that knows Peter would dispute that he is a narcissist. He is completely self-consumed. So perhaps you are pessimistic about me using the controversial term “Sociopath,” with all of its diabolical implications? What I have lived with Peter is nothing less than evil.
Also called "antisocial personality disorder" a non-correctable condition affecting up to 4% of the population. According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV, this disorder is characterized by seven features of which the person needs three to receive a diagnosis.

The signs and symptoms include:
  1. Lack of concern regarding society’s rules and expectations.
  2. Repeated violations of the rights of others.
  3. Unlawful behavior.
  4. Lack of regard for the truth
  5. In parents, neglect or abuse of children.
  6. Lack of a steady job.  Frequent job changes through quitting and/or being fired
  7. Tendencies toward physical aggression and extreme irritability. 1
The Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) had arranged for drop offs to be at the children’s godparent’s home (Susan and David). The divorce was deemed so hostile that there needed to be a witness to all interactions. The plan was to drop my son off at 7pm so that Peter could take him home for bed; he would be with me three days a week from 3pm until 7pm and all day Saturday. The GAL had also reported that my son was bonded to me and did not have a bond with his father. This was going to be traumatic for him.
Preparing for the very first drop off my 6 year old son and my 16 year old daughter started to melt down. She was upset about the situation, and was angry at me, while my son was completely hysterical about leaving me. He was screaming, hiding, running away, throwing things…hitting me. I watched as he wet himself. I called Susan and said, “Peter will understand, tell him I need to change him and rock him for just 10 minutes to calm him down.” Susan called Peter and called me right back. She was obviously shaken and reported that she had told him what was happening and he had responded (direct quote) “that means nothing to me.” She said it was so cold and unfeeling it sent shivers down her spine. He said that if I didn’t have the children at the house on time he would take legal action against me. I was scared. I put my son over my shoulder and carried him to the car kicking, screaming, crying, hitting. I put him in the back seat and locked the door. It was devastating. At that moment I knew this was something different. This was his own flesh and blood and he did not care; I could not appeal to a conscious. I was dealing with a sociopath.
Susan and David saw all of this and in the next few months would be instrumental in keeping me above water. From time to time they would sit me down and basically tell me to literally get out of bed and keep fighting! I would lose “my little man” to palpable evil if I weakened or slipped into extreme emotion (felt the situation as it was). I coped by turning this intense injustice into a “dissertation” for our final divorce trial. I began to compile evidence of financial abuse and created a timeline documenting his sexual obsessions and emotional, physical and mental abuse.   
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1http://www.accg.net/antisocial.htm

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Thank you for your comment. Positive feedback and helping those that have experienced the same tragedies are what keeps me going.