Monday, May 14, 2012

The Exorcisms and the Waltons….From the Beginning

I must have a demon in me. No one would behave the way I did unless they were possessed!
Peter was completing his undergraduate degree in religion and history. I studied while working and taking care of a baby; he studied intentionally at the library with study partners. His degree was more important than my communication degree. He was studying religion. I will mention here that I, as a little girl, intended to go on to medical school to become a surgeon. I scored the highest in my class on the NY Biology Regents exam and had hoped to continue. I gave up that dream when I became pregnant and finished a degree where I would not need to study much at all, in order to take care of my daughter and husband.
As I’ve already mentioned, I began having nightmares and had trouble distinguishing between reality and dream life. I began to hallucinate. Peter and his family were more than willing to establish that my childhood was full of abuse and it was manifesting in my adult life to the destruction of their son. My family was a problem, I was a problem, just like the parishioners in the church, I was under the microscope being analyzed and judged. I was getting worse and becoming more of a nuisance. They needed to identify what the problem was, externalize it from the family, and show they had helped in the resolution. Peter had, conveniently, met a fellow religion student that was familiar with exorcisms. I was discussed with the family, it was determined that I was possessed, and Peter and I went on a “retreat.”
At the retreat I was assessed. Yes, I was definitely possessed. I sat with the man in charge of the house and he laid his hands on my forehead. He began to speak in tongues. It was impressive; it really did sound like another language. He pushed me. And it was over. We were asked to stay in the house to make sure the demons did not re-emerge. After the weekend we went home and I was terrified. I began having more vivid nightmares and my hallucinations worsened. The exorcist came to visit us this time. We went to John’s office because he was so helpful in sensational matters.  He again laid hands on me and spoke in tongues. I was healed this time with no more demons.
Now I was mentally ill, spiritually evil and most definitely less than adequate to be a mother to my daughter. I believe I was, exhausted, lonely, confused, young, naïve, and married to a sociopath……

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