Tuesday, October 8, 2013
The Religious Sociopath: Honor Thy Father and Mother
From the beginning, dating Peter, I was forced to sever potentially threatening relationships. I was almost able to get away from him when I decided on a college 400 miles away, but that was not meant to be. He started at my college the next year and there began my isolation. It wasn't overt, but a subtle withholding or a misplaced emotional outburst. Basically manipulating me into severing most of the relationships I had developed in the past year. Peter would cut off from his own friends and family as well. Any threat would be eliminated.
I have been racking my brain trying to remember the phrasing of the scripture shrouded mantra for the family cuts because I am sure that phrase is being used with my daughters. And because I believe the sharing of my story to be my calling, I stumbled upon the actual letter.
On May 9, 2006 Peter wrote the following. Peter had severed relations with his family for years prior to this, the mantra being John and Jack were narcissists. John Walton had showed up at our house. Peter escorted him to the back porch and would not let him into the house. John had driven hundreds of miles. John confessed to ongoing affairs throughout his entire marriage to Elaine. He said there had been no bond with any of the women; so basically he fornicated for decades. Peter thought back and realized that must have been why they moved so much...church secretaries. John was mysteriously let go as president of a liberal arts college with speculation of an affair. This is the alma mater of Peter, myself, my oldest daughter, David and Susan, my parents and brother.
I am writing to respond to your unannounced visit last Monday. I want you to know that I in no way believe you to be repentant--you are a liar. Nothing in what you said suggested to me that you actually care about my wellbeing now, any more than you did when I grew up without your emotional presence. The cost of your self-worship is a son who doesn't desire relating to his father in any way. I believe you are a destructive influence on me and my family. I don't care if you believe otherwise; I'm not interested in any contrary evidence you might submit for consideration.
You are a tiny person manipulating weak-minded people in order to perpetuate your own kingdom, which shields you from undesirable realities. I honor my father by telling you I utterly oppose you. I will not enter your kingdom every again. You will not be permitted in my home again, and I will work to weaken your manipulative power whenever I can. I suspect you will not be able to keep your walls up much longer. All I encounter will know the truth about you.
I will explain to my children that their grandfather is not fit to interact with any of his grandchildren. Perhaps at your coming funeral I will explain the same to a larger audience: John Walton was unfit to deliver the gospel when he failed to receive the good news!
So how about that chilling letter? Scary isn't it? This is the man Peter turned to when our parting was inevitable. John showed up in court proudly standing by a son who shrugs off people, when they become unnecessary, like animals. John and Jack (who paid every cent of Peter's attorney) and Ben seemed delighted to destroy me, without consideration of the children involved.
I'm sure that I am being "honored" by utterly opposing me and leaving my kingdom. The problem is the undeniable biological draw between a mother and her child. How cruel to deny a child that attachment; what devotion to Peter's pulsating rage.
at 9:37 AM