Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Phone Conversations with Jo

It actually felt quite normal to be talking with Jo. Her children are in my home for months; why wouldn't we talk? Civilized, polite, cordial...talking about care of the children to ensure they know they are loved by all and no one is engaging in war-like activities. That would be the mature, professional, adult thing to do. It should not feel normal for Jason to speak with Jo (or me with Peter), being verbally and psychologically abused and slandered since day one with Jo. Just her actions and words since he asked for a divorce have made it impossible for her to freely dialogue with Jason. Over 20% of Americans divorce; he was well within his human rights to simply divorce amicably. She gave up free dialogue or any type of interaction with Jason after her first threat and the seriousness of her false allegations. She chooses this obsession, illogical to me, abuses the system and forces her children to perpetuate her "bunny in the boiling pot" obsession with Jason, me and indirectly my son.

I know no mother, personally, that would abuse her own children in this way. Children want to love and feel loved. When a mother teaches hate, her love for her children and their best interest comes second. I simply do not understand as I would relish never having contact with Peter again and would not give one thought to anyone he chose to be in relationship with. 
Jo cannot stop calling Jason's phone "her abuser"; he has asked and litigated so many times. Jason not wanting to even hear the sound of her voice on a message deletes without listening or passes the phone to me. 
 
In our less than 6 minutes of phone contact Jo hung up on me three times, stated after the first call that "she was not going to do this," threatened to "call the police," stated she has already "started a law suit about my blog," threatened to "start a new one," stated that "I was harassing her (though she was calling repeatedly)," called me "honey" in a condescending belittling tone over and over, demanded that "I put Jason on the phone," and lastly, "stop touching my children." I asked her to repeat that last one. That one came from Peter. 

Jo yelled, Jo was hyperventilating the entire time, Jo sounded angry, emotional and, most disturbingly, desperate to talk to Jason. I explained several times that she was not married to Jason anymore and he did not want to talk to her, that she was calling us and she was free to call police or sue me. I observed her and did not react equally, instead I strangely felt compassion. 

I am not afraid, I am not threatened, I am not scolded or belittled. Thank you Jo for teaching me to be strong, to become fearless, to see where the hate in your son's eyes originated and to return it with only love for them. Love is stronger than hate. I have only the best wishes for you Jo.
 

2 comments:

  1. Aren't you sometimes postively amazed at the patience and calm that you've learned to display? And unfortunately, it is lost on them, as it is the negative reaction that they're looking for from you. Deep, deep breathes and beautiful thoughts and let that shit go the minute the conversation is over. Stay strong.

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  2. I have been transformed my dear friend, thank you for noticing :) I used to react, the way they wished, I must admit and have made many mistakes, but no more....deep breathes...wish you were closer..

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Thank you for your comment. Positive feedback and helping those that have experienced the same tragedies are what keeps me going.