Tuesday, March 22, 2016

...They Will Try and Control How Others See You...

This is a comment from one of my posts. This is why I continue. This is why I am taking a month off with no pay to finish book #1. Thank you for taking the time "anonymous" to respond to this blog.

My thoughts are with you and all of the rest who thought they were just "crazy" and out of control...NO...WE were left unsettled, unprotected and unloved....how were we supposed to find stability or find a way out? We stay BECAUSE they leave us with no opportunity to realize what's happening or be with others that can help us see....


I found your blog yesterday. I feel like I am reading a large portion of my own story. I was married 20 years as well and have been divorced for 3 years...not much has changed. It has bothered me that the divorce trauma has not ended so I have been searching for answers. I have always known my ex-husband has control problems. About 5 days ago I stumbled onto an article that prompted me to research psychopathy. I have been reeling every since. I can't believe I finally have an answer for all of those years. The most frightening thing, however, is not knowing how serious the situation actually was. It will take me a while to organize the puzzle of my thoughts and know where to go from here. This post hit every nerve in my body. I can honestly say in 20 years of marriage I was never given the gift of an ACTUAL RESOLUTION to any argument or fight that we ever had. It all went under the proverbial rug (I have a mental image of that rug still) I wish I had known how deep the pit was dug under that rug. I internalized every single last unresolved issue as my own knowing he would never change and if I ever wanted things to be different it would up to me. I wish I had known that NOTHING I could do would have ever been enough. Well, unless I just died, I guess.

I'm on the tip of my iceberg and shaking all over. So much to process. Thank you for your words. I wish you knew how much they mean to me.

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Thank you for your comment. Positive feedback and helping those that have experienced the same tragedies are what keeps me going.