Monday, March 18, 2013

The Religious Sociopath

Peter is fanatically religious. Members of the Walton family rarely write or speak without incorporating scripture. They use scripture as a way of judging others using knowledge they believe to have been bestowed especially to them. They then wield this extraordinary power in supporting whatever decisions they make and whomever they decide to ban together to destroy. Even when the Walton men find themselves answering for various indiscretions, there is no hesitation to destroy the victim, without remorse. They place themselves so centered in religious communities and institutions that their passionate words are more easily believed. Christians are the least likely to believe (generally believing the best in others) that they could be so dishonest and manipulative, unless they maybe had first or second hand experiences with the coldhearted.

Peter is convincing Warren to become a priest.  If Warren were a priest, the Waltons would proudly bring him into their religious circle without worry that Warren might have a life outside of the family and in doing so see more clearly the cult-like Walton way. He would personify this extraordinary religious gift the Walton’s have spent decades to cultivate. This is not about Warren, this is about the family and what would best promote the family agenda.
Every Sunday when Peter Skype’s with Warren he asks if Warren has attended Mass. If we haven’t, he sighs a judgmental and shaming sigh. It is meant for me; Peter likes to send me messages through Skype….He then “blesses” Warren at the end of Skype sessions. Meanwhile, I still receive hostile and condescending emails. Three emails ago Peter, shaming me about child support, said, “the money I [Samantha] was able to procure from the judge.”  So while Peter looks toward the future and what Warren can do for him, playing pretend daddy when Warren needs more obvious daily support, Warren and I live day after day together creating a life with less guilt and shame and more love and freedom.

Religious talk unsettles me still; it takes me back to Peter and his family and all of the guilt, shame, judgments, and hate. I know they’ve come up with some mantra for my daughters as to how to circumvent the honoring your mother commandment…something probably like “they are honoring their mother by….tough love…” something that will justify their dishonor and hatred. I’ve heard the mantras for other Walton victims and they literally repeat the story and mantra so much, and with so much consistency between family members, it does become believable.  And thinking about the circular energy I experienced, even Peter’s very redundant, circular emails….I think the Waltons are orbiting, year after year,  a very earthly god… and that’s the Waltons. 

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Life on the Other Side: The Creepers

Jason was also married to a sociopath. She has used his children against him without regard for their mental, physical or emotional well-being. She had nothing other than contempt for him while married and to this day lives to control and destroy him. She also lies as if it’s breathing. I could devote an entire book describing her and what she’s done. Jason helped me write “You Might Be Married to a Sociopath If....” because our sociopaths said and did so many things exactly alike, as if they were referencing the same play book. It’s both good and bad that we were both married to nearly the same individual. It’s good because we, without hesitation, believe one another and take any communication from the other party very seriously. He helps me respond with my situation and I his. It’s bad because it’s double the stress for both of us. And we are rarely free from attacks from one of them.

Over Christmas, while I was with Jason (we live very far apart with him being in the military), he received an email from his x wife. It was really a five page rant/rage against me. The difference between her and Peter is where he can restrain himself sometimes she seems to have very little self-control sending at least a hundred  pages of emails trying to coerce him into more communication with her. She shows a great deal of emotion and instability in her emails and is either drunk when she writes them or her psyche is diminishing. She is not very bright, though very resolute in her schemes to destroy Jason for leaving her, where Peter is a dangerously intelligent manipulator. For example, she is very direct in her parent alienation and deteriorating respect for Jason with his children, where Peter’s is more insidious and undetectable. Both end with the same results. Honestly, together they could wreak some havoc in our lives and have.

Jason and I share all communications we have with these two miserable individuals (I use miserable because they both wallow in their victimization and negativity and will tell anyone who will listen). Around November there was a statement in an email from Jason’s X that made us both think our Xs were talking, but didn’t know for sure. The Christmas break email rant included, for instance, the social services case that Peter had initiated before moving out of the country. Peter would not have known the case was closed as unsubstantiated; only the person accused is notified of the findings. So her misinformation about an ongoing case would have come from Peter. Those records are confidential, I know because part of my work involves working with that particular department. She either received that information directly from Peter or Peter could have easily “convinced” my oldest daughter to communicate with her by inciting her anger toward me making Jason the reason for the broken marriage. Regardless they are sharing information. The same things I fought in my own case are now appearing in Jason’s case. They are most definitely communicating in some way.

Neither has moved on and continue to be obsessed with relationships long gone. So when we are not stressed about continued attorney fees and anticipated histrionics from both, we have actually laughed about the two of them together.

They both, very proudly, continue to make statements in emails with information only the other would know. It is of course meant to unsettle Jason and me and, again, without regard for how that appears to the normal person…..CREEPY!!