Sunday, October 15, 2017

Talk of the Rock Radio Show in Kodiak Alaska for Domestic Violence Awareness Month

You can hear the radio interview by following this link:

Author Speaks About Experience with Domestic Violence

Kayla Desroches/KMXT
A Kodiak resident shared her story recently as part of Domestic Violence Awareness month.
University of Kentucky epidemiologist, Sabrina Brown, who splits her time between Kodiak and Kentucky, published a book called “I Married a Sociopath.”
It covers her experiences with her ex-husband over their 20-year marriage.
She says during that relationship she worked within violence prevention, but it took her a long time to apply that same information to her own case.
“The worst part for me was – and I detail this in my book because it’s so subtle, can be so subtle – but the physiological, the gaslighting, making the victim think that they’re crazy, projecting what they’re doing, but blaming the victim. Those are all very difficult to delineate in your own mind as a victim. So, I kinda straddled both as a researcher and a victim.”
She explains how the psychological aspect can make it harder for the victim to come to terms with the nature of the relationship.
“Other victims in writing this book and blogging for five years have come to me and said ‘I wish he had hit me.’ Because then it would have proven to myself, it would have proven to others, kind of the CSI effect, where ‘Oh, now I have evidence.’”
Brown says her colleague eventually helped her reflect on her own situation.
“And I think you have to be ready to hear it too. And guess at that time I was ready to hear it. She said ‘I want to know what he offers you, what he contributes to the relationship,’ and I couldn’t think of one thing. He didn’t work, I was a human ATM machine just on a treadmill, just keeping me in chaos.”
Brown has since remarried and speaks about her experiences as a way to reach out to other people who have suffered domestic violence. She sat down with KMXT as part of this week’s Talk of the Rock.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Formal Book Review in the Harvard Business Review by Myron Stokes (Former Newsweek Correspondent)


 The Love of a US Navy SEAL Brought Her Back...                
                                                 Book Review
Frankfort, KY, June 14, 2017 - In the aftermath of absorbing the contents of this book, I was compelled to draw on my experiences as a former Newsweek investigative correspondent, which exposed me with disturbing depth and regularity to the darker side of humanity, from The Balkans to Pennsylvania. In my view, few people would have had the courage or the fortitude to talk about - let alone create a fastidiously compiled non-fiction depiction - of a life where as a little girl, Dr. Brown was subjected to continuous sexual assault by family members, but urged to speak glowingly of those abusers when questioned by authorities.  
"With Steve", Brown muses, "I was reborn at 39 years of age while simultaneously finding the love of my life. Moreover, he imposed his rigorous training as a SEAL instructor to my own discipline as a means of directly assaulting my demons, and taught me to expand my capabilities and limits of endurance through learning primitive survival skills in nature's most unforgiving locales such as Alaska and Montana. "
Recognizing she had no true protectors, Brown crafted a strategy of self-preservation that was/is astonishing in its effectiveness; especially when one recognizes few would have maintained their sanity, let alone completely revamping the architecture of her life to become a renowned University of Kentucky Associate Prof. of Epidemiology, a Counter-Terrorism lecturer, a mother, a mentor to young women and wife to a decorated US Navy SEAL.
I was privileged to spend time with Dr. Brown and her family at a remote horse ranch/retreat deep in the woods of Kentucky. A place, I might add, where one rediscovers their child-like sense of wonder. (Fireflies in the trees on a pitch black night have a way of doing that) Indeed, a perfect locale where husband Steve, seriously injured himself during an OCONUS operation, has brought veterans of multiple wars to reclaim their balance and sense of self-worth. For him, it is giving back in a long lasting way.                                 Steven Brown, Naval Special Warfare Basic Training Command     
"With Steve", Brown muses, "I was reborn at 39 years of age while simultaneously finding the love of my life. Moreover, he imposed his rigorous training as a SEAL instructor to my own discipline as a means of directly assaulting my demons, and taught me to expand my capabilities and limits of endurance through learning primitive survival skills in nature's most unforgiving locales such as Alaska and Montana. "
Steve could only smile when I remarked his first encounter with Dr. Brown must have been viewed as a Special Op...
Publisher's note:
Dr. Sabrina Brown serves as Associate Professor in the Department of Epidemiology and the Kentucky Injury Prevention and Research Center, College of Public Health, at the University of Kentucky. Dr. Brown is the director of the Kentucky Violent Death Reporting System, which is part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention funded National Violent Death Reporting System. As part of the project, and together with Kentucky coroners, Dr. Brown developed the statewide Coroner Investigation Report (CIR) and web-based system (the reports’ development and distribution are detailed in the American Journal of Health Behavior). 
Given the importance of death scene information for criminal prosecution and public health prevention efforts, more efforts are needed to discover innovative approaches to help gather death scene information and forensic evidence in resource constrained settings. Building upon the CIR, Dr. Brown has a proposal under review with the National Institute of Justice to develop, pilot test, and evaluate Death Scene Investigation Mobile Technology.
The DSI-Mobile Tech is proposed to be used as a non-linear checklist guiding the investigator(s) to best practices and giving prompts based on probabilities from previous forensic investigations and NIJ guidelines. This new forensic technology will promote uniform processing of forensic evidence at death scenes efficiently among first responders and will help death scene investigators gather and record information on precipitating circumstances of deaths, using a standardized guiding format to gain greater detail from survivors and witnesses. This will thereby improve the current standard practices and help compliance with the latest NIJ guidelines and protocol for death scene investigations.
Amazon Author Page:

About Myron D. Stokes:
Global HeavyLift Holdings, Inc. Managing Director, Dr. Rufus Stokes Foundation Director, Grand Prix Developmental Committee Director and eMOTION! REPORTS Publisher Myron D. Stokes is an award winning veteran automotive/aerospace industry analyst and spent several years as an industry correspondent for Newsweek, Newsweek Japan and Newsweek International. His work as a journalist with special emphasis on business and technology has been published in a variety of other major print mediums including the Detroit News, Changing Times Magazine, Auto Week and corporate publications. Over the years, he has provided major corporations and media groups with “deep background” analyses that have helped shape the direction of some of the most significant news stories and industry strategies.
eMOTION! ( is anautomotive/aerospace industries research and analysis site targeting professionals within the academic, media, corporate and government sectors. The site also created a pathway through which white papers and other scholarly works such as "Crisis On Asimov: A Vision of 2085" by national security strategist Dr. Sheila Ronis; "Quantum Parallel: The Saint-Hilaire Quasiturbine as the Basis For Simultaneous Paradigm Shift in Vehicle Propulsion Systems" and "Super-Globalism: Strategies For Maintaining a Robust Industrial Base Through Technological, Policy and Process Improvement" , could be presented to a broadened yet specific audience.

Monday, May 22, 2017


If anyone out there has been thinking about buying my paperback, but hasn't gotten around to it, if you would please buy it now. I am getting close to #1 Best Seller in my category today and it would be wonderful to add that to the cover. Also, I have 14 Five Star Reviews if you want to look at those before purchase.

Thanks to all of you who have supported me in this way!!!! I really appreciate all of the encouragement and responses!!!

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Free Preview of my Book

 "I Married a Sociopath: Taken to the Edge of Insanity, My Survival Unexpected" by Sabrina Brown.

Start reading it for free:


Read on the go for free – download Kindle for Android, iOS, PC, Mac and more

Sunday, April 16, 2017

I Choose to Stop Devaluing Myself

The few days following the launch of my book were excruciating. I had exposed myself so publicly that all I wanted to do was stay in bed and keep covered. People in my life knew pieces of my trauma—the child abuse but not later abuse...domestic violence but not the child abuse…my struggles in court and with Steven’s family and his ex but not child abuse or domestic violence…or nothing at all if they only knew me professionally—no one in my life knew all of it except my husband Steven. After about two days I received the first text and it was from my mother. Her being an English teacher, my concerns with her reading it were twofold.  Was it well written in her eyes? And chapter one.… It was painful for her to read, but she found it brutally honest, said I actually showed restraint and kindness, and provided help for others who are struggling. And then she told me she loved me eternally. We have had some very meaningful conversations since.

I’ve gotten quite a lot of feedback since my book release and a lot of questions. Some adults and friends from my childhood are not only shocked, but a little angry they didn’t see anything. I did tell a teacher in high school (I actually wrote a paper about my child abuse) and he did nothing so my perspective was that no one believed me and being so ashamed, I didn’t say anything again. My roommates from college were texting me at the same time, as they read the book, and told me they missed me too after I left. My friend "Cassie" said that I was an amazing writer; the story was sad yet I have risen from the ashes and am stronger each day. And colleagues, that share they are reading my book, just hug me and some have said that it is emotionally draining to read. All feedback has been positive and there has not been any judgments, yet, at least to my face. 

I'm also getting a lot of stories about victims leaving, stories of child abuse and domestic violence and questions about how a person can help other family members and/or friends get out of an abusive relationship.

The number one question I’m getting is if writing and releasing my book was cathartic. At first I was offended by this and asked myself why I was so offended. Well, because I had to live it, writing it was painful and releasing it was even more painful. So, no, it has just been a really painful--and rigorous--process and I need to live in the pain of it for however long I need to until I’m ready to turn in the other direction of it being helpful in any way to my healing….

And then yesterday it hit me. Yes, in one area, it is becoming cathartic: I choose to stop devaluing my needs and giving without question. I am not going to let people inflict trauma on me; whether it be in response to an “unnatural or misunderstood” triggering event or simply the way they treat me. They are gone from my life until they figure it out and start treating me with respect. I also realize it's not my place to help them figure it out if they are choosing to analyze and judge me with misinformation--and not coming to me directly. And if it’s seen as an overreaction or paranoia, so be it. I “need” the trauma to stop so that I can heal. I need a break.


--I have made my book KindleUnlimited so it's free if you have that membership with Amazon

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Dear Waltons, Please Stop Hurting my Son

I was recently checking my son's phone and social media accounts and accidentally came across some very devastating messages. 

Warren opened a social networking account in order to talk to some of his friends at school and baseball. 

I cannot believe this happened but....

My middle daughter and Jack and Jill's youngest son they had together, targeted Warren. They bullied him, harassed him, blamed him, were horribly cruel and hateful. They made comments like, "you traitor." He didn't tell me, though he said he became very depressed about it, because he wanted to protect me (yes, my heart hurts).

Waltons, all of you, it is time to back off of this little boy turned young man. He has suffered the most and he deserves peace and time to heal. Could you please stop disparaging me, and now him, to the point that your children are filled with such hate they attack an innocent. 

I am an author--a writer--I write about my life experiences and the more difficult, the more controversial, the more hateful the more I will write. 

It is time to stop this madness. I desperately want this story to END!

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Writing Chapter One--My Child Abuse Chapter

Chapter One. This is where my trauma started, this is what made me a victim, this is what brought shame into the essence of who I was and would make me vulnerable to a predator. I did not want to include a Chapter One. I was ashamed and embarrassed and I did not want anyone to know those events had really happened to me. 

I never dreamed I would include my night of torture--for some reason I was most ashamed about that night. My husband, Steven (Jason) was the one to convince me to include it. After many nights of dealing with me and PTSD, from that particular event, he said that it was a crucial piece to the puzzle of me; he knew it would be excruciatingly difficult to remember and write and he was willing to allow me the emotional and physical space to include that incident. He reminded me again and again that I didn't ask for it--it all happened to me and I had nothing to be ashamed of.

Over a period of six months, I wrote Chapter One. Periodically I would say to Steven that I was ready to "be in it" and to allow me to be alone; to stay up all night if needed. I would write an incomprehensible sentence, cry my eyes out, write another....go back the next day to interpret...days...weeks later write another...go back days later....

I wanted to write it from my child's eye and not through the filter of me as an adult with my life experience and knowledge--what did I think and feel then--as a child. Not too much, not too little, just right. To get back to that state I forced myself to live in the trauma..over and over..

Then to actually leave it in for publication and to release to the "world" was a whole other level of pain, bringing with it depression and anxiety. 

Putting Chapter One out to the "world" has been so hard. Just so hard. 

Thursday, March 30, 2017

First Book Review

Shockingly Honest and Brave
Based on a survivor’s real life experiences, interspersed with scholarly references and information about trauma, domestic violence, Parent Alienation Syndrome, and mental health illness. This book is filled with raw honesty, exposing the author’s most personal history. The ways in which she has coped are told in detail as she dealt with gas-lighting, manipulation, and unspeakable traumas.
As a sexual assault and domestic violence advocate and counselor, I have seen similarly unique situations played out time and again with clients. These topics are difficult to discuss in safe surroundings with solid support systems. The author’s choice to own her story and take back her life by exposing herself to the world is boldly courageous and no doubt terrifying. She shows strength and perseverance time and again in this gritty recounting of sexual, psychological and physical abuse.
Definitely worth your time to read!

Sunday, March 26, 2017

"Hot New Release" #2

Friday, March 24, 2017

This book is now available as a Kindle download for $0.99 and free with purchase of the soft copy

Amazon Kindle Version:

Thursday, March 23, 2017

"From the Author" in my Book

From the Author:
I started blogging in February of 2012. I made a decision to take my journaling on-line, making my story available to others, but under the protection of an alias.  Portions of this book come from “stand alone” posts from my blog. They may appear out of place amidst my story line, but I feel like the message within them is important enough to leave them as is. Posts at various time periods reveal my thoughts and feelings at that time, which may or may not be where or who I am today. By capturing emotions in “real time” I hope others can better relate to surviving the same sort of adversities. The events that I’ve chosen to document in this book are the ones that have been the most painful and/or had the greatest effect on me. Some events may seem trivial in comparison to others, but will come to fruition in book two and three—the seeds were planted within the timeline of this book.

The process from blog to book, under my real identity, has been agonizingly difficult—an unexpected internal struggle. It has taken five years to not only write my book, but to find the courage to uncover and claim myself. Fear has gotten in the way of so much and fear has kept me imprisoned. My transformation to living freely is manifesting, in part, with the publication of my story. 

It's Available on Amazon

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Book Launch....tomorrow?

I have uploaded the book on Create Space. I believe I can go live at about midnight tonight pending approval. It will be available at the Create Space store (and I encourage you to buy at that location), it will also be available through Amazon and as an e-book download to Kindle.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

I am Sabrina Brown and I Married a Sociopath.

I had hoped to launch my book tomorrow morning--on the spring equinox--because tomorrow the day and night are exactly equal. I believe this book will balance the scales of justice--things will become equal for me and for others.

I am finally ready to claim myself, and my story, and in doing so take back my power. My abusers no longer get to decide what parts of me they will exploit, and out of context. This is my story and in my own words. This is the good, the bad, the ugly and the darkest moments in my life. 

The book is getting a final edit and then I will upload it to my account and it will be available to you both as a hard copy version and electronic download. I will continue to update here on my blog. It should be out within the next few days.....

Saturday, March 4, 2017

From Blog to Book: I had no idea it would be THIS hard

When I dared to start this blog and posted for the first time--to turn my inward suffering outward--it was a liberating and validating experience. It was scary, don't get me wrong, and at first I feared being found out and sued by the parties I was writing about, but overall it helped me and I hope others.

Blogging is my on-line journal and at times I rant and rave and...generally get positive feedback immediately. The more vulnerable the post--the more the feedback. Writing a book is entirely different, though it's still me and still my life. 

When I compose a blog post it's one idea and/or one event. I focus on that, feeling any feelings in that moment, and try to express it in words the best I can. The book is my entire story, at that time, so it's everything at once. There are no more compartments in time--just one continual narrative.  I have, for months now, immersed myself in my own trauma and continually. I work, then come home and write and edit until I can't keep my eyes open (last weekend I worked about 32 hours on this book alone), fall asleep thinking about it wondering if I've misspoken or left an important piece out, gotten the timeline wrong, I have nightmares about traumatic events, then wake thinking about events and trauma...

I am feeling like I did with Peter most of the time, so I don't feel good. I've in some ways lost my newfound "happy." Some times I wake up thinking Peter is lying next to me and not Jason and I find myself in a full on panic attack. I have dreams that somehow Peter has taken me away from Jason and I'm with him again. I have trouble throughout the day thinking I'm still married to Peter; sometimes almost calling Jason Peter. And my daughters....a newfound grief is bubbling under the surface. I've been going through photo albums for the photo insert and remembering the happy, the sad and the abuse....the feelings so intense I am nearly always on the brink of tears. 

As I read through a section the other day, reading about events back to back and seeing a very prominent pattern emerge, I cried, I cried for me. For me as a little girl, for me as a young women doing the best she could, being slapped down figuratively and literally, only to pop back up and be slammed down again. I grieved for a lot of overall loss in my life. Just unnecessary loss and heartbreak.

All of this without feedback as with the blog. I go from feeling confident about my expression in book form to the next minute insecure that the book will fail--the suffering and soon to be exposure in vain.

On top of the emotional exhaustion of this project, it is just very rigorous writing a book. It is hard. It is hard work. 

None the less, it is coming out. I am coming out. I will expose myself out here first with my real identity... very soon. I'm taking one step at a time and seeing how it feels...

Friday, February 3, 2017

Finished with Book #1

I finished book #1 today and it's with my editor. About half of the book is new material. The book ends at our summer elopement so there is so much more to talk about...I hope you buy a copy. The launch is March 20th at 7am EST. It will be 99 cents on Ebooks for three days and then 14.95 after. The hard copy version will be available for 19.95 starting on March 20th.

It's been quite a journey. I'm exhausted.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Book Update

I spent a lot of my Christmas break finishing the book. There are three sections in the first: 1) my childhood and life with Peter, 2) the divorce process and 3) life with Jason. I have completed #1 and should have #2 done this weekend. Three I'll complete, I hope, the next weekend. I've been dragging my feet because it's a vulnerable thing putting out the details of your life story including the most embarrassing failures. But I'm ready now to face the haters and come out of the closet and I'm getting downright excited. I've added so much that I'm going to have a trilogy now. Depending on how long my editors take, I should publish in a couple of months! So, I've started talking about it in all my circles and have several businesses willing to do signings and retail my book, offers to help vlog, share in all of their circles....I'm grateful and hopeful....It seems a lot is coming into alignment already this year.