Sunday, October 15, 2017

Talk of the Rock Radio Show in Kodiak Alaska for Domestic Violence Awareness Month

You can hear the radio interview by following this link:

Author Speaks About Experience with Domestic Violence

Kayla Desroches/KMXT
A Kodiak resident shared her story recently as part of Domestic Violence Awareness month.
University of Kentucky epidemiologist, Sabrina Brown, who splits her time between Kodiak and Kentucky, published a book called “I Married a Sociopath.”
It covers her experiences with her ex-husband over their 20-year marriage.
She says during that relationship she worked within violence prevention, but it took her a long time to apply that same information to her own case.
“The worst part for me was – and I detail this in my book because it’s so subtle, can be so subtle – but the physiological, the gaslighting, making the victim think that they’re crazy, projecting what they’re doing, but blaming the victim. Those are all very difficult to delineate in your own mind as a victim. So, I kinda straddled both as a researcher and a victim.”
She explains how the psychological aspect can make it harder for the victim to come to terms with the nature of the relationship.
“Other victims in writing this book and blogging for five years have come to me and said ‘I wish he had hit me.’ Because then it would have proven to myself, it would have proven to others, kind of the CSI effect, where ‘Oh, now I have evidence.’”
Brown says her colleague eventually helped her reflect on her own situation.
“And I think you have to be ready to hear it too. And guess at that time I was ready to hear it. She said ‘I want to know what he offers you, what he contributes to the relationship,’ and I couldn’t think of one thing. He didn’t work, I was a human ATM machine just on a treadmill, just keeping me in chaos.”
Brown has since remarried and speaks about her experiences as a way to reach out to other people who have suffered domestic violence. She sat down with KMXT as part of this week’s Talk of the Rock.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Formal Book Review in the Harvard Business Review by Myron Stokes (Former Newsweek Correspondent)


 The Love of a US Navy SEAL Brought Her Back...                
                                                 Book Review
Frankfort, KY, June 14, 2017 - In the aftermath of absorbing the contents of this book, I was compelled to draw on my experiences as a former Newsweek investigative correspondent, which exposed me with disturbing depth and regularity to the darker side of humanity, from The Balkans to Pennsylvania. In my view, few people would have had the courage or the fortitude to talk about - let alone create a fastidiously compiled non-fiction depiction - of a life where as a little girl, Dr. Brown was subjected to continuous sexual assault by family members, but urged to speak glowingly of those abusers when questioned by authorities.  
"With Steve", Brown muses, "I was reborn at 39 years of age while simultaneously finding the love of my life. Moreover, he imposed his rigorous training as a SEAL instructor to my own discipline as a means of directly assaulting my demons, and taught me to expand my capabilities and limits of endurance through learning primitive survival skills in nature's most unforgiving locales such as Alaska and Montana. "
Recognizing she had no true protectors, Brown crafted a strategy of self-preservation that was/is astonishing in its effectiveness; especially when one recognizes few would have maintained their sanity, let alone completely revamping the architecture of her life to become a renowned University of Kentucky Associate Prof. of Epidemiology, a Counter-Terrorism lecturer, a mother, a mentor to young women and wife to a decorated US Navy SEAL.
I was privileged to spend time with Dr. Brown and her family at a remote horse ranch/retreat deep in the woods of Kentucky. A place, I might add, where one rediscovers their child-like sense of wonder. (Fireflies in the trees on a pitch black night have a way of doing that) Indeed, a perfect locale where husband Steve, seriously injured himself during an OCONUS operation, has brought veterans of multiple wars to reclaim their balance and sense of self-worth. For him, it is giving back in a long lasting way.                                 Steven Brown, Naval Special Warfare Basic Training Command     
"With Steve", Brown muses, "I was reborn at 39 years of age while simultaneously finding the love of my life. Moreover, he imposed his rigorous training as a SEAL instructor to my own discipline as a means of directly assaulting my demons, and taught me to expand my capabilities and limits of endurance through learning primitive survival skills in nature's most unforgiving locales such as Alaska and Montana. "
Steve could only smile when I remarked his first encounter with Dr. Brown must have been viewed as a Special Op...
Publisher's note:
Dr. Sabrina Brown serves as Associate Professor in the Department of Epidemiology and the Kentucky Injury Prevention and Research Center, College of Public Health, at the University of Kentucky. Dr. Brown is the director of the Kentucky Violent Death Reporting System, which is part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention funded National Violent Death Reporting System. As part of the project, and together with Kentucky coroners, Dr. Brown developed the statewide Coroner Investigation Report (CIR) and web-based system (the reports’ development and distribution are detailed in the American Journal of Health Behavior). 
Given the importance of death scene information for criminal prosecution and public health prevention efforts, more efforts are needed to discover innovative approaches to help gather death scene information and forensic evidence in resource constrained settings. Building upon the CIR, Dr. Brown has a proposal under review with the National Institute of Justice to develop, pilot test, and evaluate Death Scene Investigation Mobile Technology.
The DSI-Mobile Tech is proposed to be used as a non-linear checklist guiding the investigator(s) to best practices and giving prompts based on probabilities from previous forensic investigations and NIJ guidelines. This new forensic technology will promote uniform processing of forensic evidence at death scenes efficiently among first responders and will help death scene investigators gather and record information on precipitating circumstances of deaths, using a standardized guiding format to gain greater detail from survivors and witnesses. This will thereby improve the current standard practices and help compliance with the latest NIJ guidelines and protocol for death scene investigations.
Amazon Author Page:

About Myron D. Stokes:
Global HeavyLift Holdings, Inc. Managing Director, Dr. Rufus Stokes Foundation Director, Grand Prix Developmental Committee Director and eMOTION! REPORTS Publisher Myron D. Stokes is an award winning veteran automotive/aerospace industry analyst and spent several years as an industry correspondent for Newsweek, Newsweek Japan and Newsweek International. His work as a journalist with special emphasis on business and technology has been published in a variety of other major print mediums including the Detroit News, Changing Times Magazine, Auto Week and corporate publications. Over the years, he has provided major corporations and media groups with “deep background” analyses that have helped shape the direction of some of the most significant news stories and industry strategies.
eMOTION! ( is anautomotive/aerospace industries research and analysis site targeting professionals within the academic, media, corporate and government sectors. The site also created a pathway through which white papers and other scholarly works such as "Crisis On Asimov: A Vision of 2085" by national security strategist Dr. Sheila Ronis; "Quantum Parallel: The Saint-Hilaire Quasiturbine as the Basis For Simultaneous Paradigm Shift in Vehicle Propulsion Systems" and "Super-Globalism: Strategies For Maintaining a Robust Industrial Base Through Technological, Policy and Process Improvement" , could be presented to a broadened yet specific audience.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

"Hot New Release" #2

Thursday, March 23, 2017

"From the Author" in my Book

From the Author:
I started blogging in February of 2012. I made a decision to take my journaling on-line, making my story available to others, but under the protection of an alias.  Portions of this book come from “stand alone” posts from my blog. They may appear out of place amidst my story line, but I feel like the message within them is important enough to leave them as is. Posts at various time periods reveal my thoughts and feelings at that time, which may or may not be where or who I am today. By capturing emotions in “real time” I hope others can better relate to surviving the same sort of adversities. The events that I’ve chosen to document in this book are the ones that have been the most painful and/or had the greatest effect on me. Some events may seem trivial in comparison to others, but will come to fruition in book two and three—the seeds were planted within the timeline of this book.

The process from blog to book, under my real identity, has been agonizingly difficult—an unexpected internal struggle. It has taken five years to not only write my book, but to find the courage to uncover and claim myself. Fear has gotten in the way of so much and fear has kept me imprisoned. My transformation to living freely is manifesting, in part, with the publication of my story. 

It's Available on Amazon

Saturday, March 4, 2017

From Blog to Book: I had no idea it would be THIS hard

When I dared to start this blog and posted for the first time--to turn my inward suffering outward--it was a liberating and validating experience. It was scary, don't get me wrong, and at first I feared being found out and sued by the parties I was writing about, but overall it helped me and I hope others.

Blogging is my on-line journal and at times I rant and rave and...generally get positive feedback immediately. The more vulnerable the post--the more the feedback. Writing a book is entirely different, though it's still me and still my life. 

When I compose a blog post it's one idea and/or one event. I focus on that, feeling any feelings in that moment, and try to express it in words the best I can. The book is my entire story, at that time, so it's everything at once. There are no more compartments in time--just one continual narrative.  I have, for months now, immersed myself in my own trauma and continually. I work, then come home and write and edit until I can't keep my eyes open (last weekend I worked about 32 hours on this book alone), fall asleep thinking about it wondering if I've misspoken or left an important piece out, gotten the timeline wrong, I have nightmares about traumatic events, then wake thinking about events and trauma...

I am feeling like I did with Peter most of the time, so I don't feel good. I've in some ways lost my newfound "happy." Some times I wake up thinking Peter is lying next to me and not Jason and I find myself in a full on panic attack. I have dreams that somehow Peter has taken me away from Jason and I'm with him again. I have trouble throughout the day thinking I'm still married to Peter; sometimes almost calling Jason Peter. And my daughters....a newfound grief is bubbling under the surface. I've been going through photo albums for the photo insert and remembering the happy, the sad and the abuse....the feelings so intense I am nearly always on the brink of tears. 

As I read through a section the other day, reading about events back to back and seeing a very prominent pattern emerge, I cried, I cried for me. For me as a little girl, for me as a young women doing the best she could, being slapped down figuratively and literally, only to pop back up and be slammed down again. I grieved for a lot of overall loss in my life. Just unnecessary loss and heartbreak.

All of this without feedback as with the blog. I go from feeling confident about my expression in book form to the next minute insecure that the book will fail--the suffering and soon to be exposure in vain.

On top of the emotional exhaustion of this project, it is just very rigorous writing a book. It is hard. It is hard work. 

None the less, it is coming out. I am coming out. I will expose myself out here first with my real identity... very soon. I'm taking one step at a time and seeing how it feels...