Friday, February 28, 2014

The Sociopath: Mrs. Walton

I met Peter when I was 15 years old. We divorced when I was 40 so I grew up with the Walton family. John Walton was in an administrative position in the church and traveled a great deal throughout Peter's youth. John's approach to parenting was to be absent as much as possible and when home give as little as possible. Peter was basically fatherless. John's job required moving about every two years and Peter being painfully introverted did not make friends easily. Peter was isolated. In his teenage years, Peter would sleep with a radio right next to his head; he would play it loudly and rock his own head to sleep. He needed to feel something even if it was only a vibration from the music and his face touching the pillow....side to side. Peter was neglected. I have always felt sad for child Peter and young man Peter. 

Elaine,  growing up in a highly religious home herself with many siblings, was not raised with affection and did not provide a nurturing environment in John's absence. Peter recalls Elaine being constantly afflicted by migraine headaches and spending days in bed. I believe she was depressed being married to an unloving man and raising three boys on her own. She appeared to me to be in misery, barely smiling, getting through her days. She was not educated and had no other prospects other than the position she had been charmed into. Her in-laws had reminded her often that she was not their first choice; there had been a more sophisticated woman...a better match for their John. They were downright cruel to her and her husband and sons offered nothing but disrespect and condescension. [She passed this legacy on to me letting me know, directly and indirectly, I had ruined her son's life and did not measure up to the Walton standard]. The Walton home was and is unloving, cold, empty, unsafe, temporary, but with the appearance of classic perfection. The men within are the most insecure men I have ever known with an insatiable need for validation from women.

Peter should not have graduated from high school. He had failed too many classes. John being highly attractive, charming and influential in the community, had convinced the guidance counselor to let him walk. She did. Peter did what he wanted to, without fear of consequence. Peter pushed the edge of the envelope and learned he could do whatever he wanted without consequence. Peter and I had gone to the same summer camp as children and he had a reputation of being the "bad boy." Peter maintained that reputation, in fact his older brother would use him as "the muscle" and Peter was known for his fighting prowess. Peter had a beaten face for his senior pictures. Peter was a violent person and engaged in fighting even after marriage and the birth of his daughter. He had such a short fuse, it was embarrassing. Peter did not have boundaries or parameters as boys need. It was easy to connect the dots to the performances in family court.

Elaine has played her part without wavering. She defends her husband and sons without the presence of her own thoughts. I've seen the pain of her captivity behind her eyes, but that is the expectation, to lay on the floor face-down in full submission, with no perspective other than theirs, so that they may climb up on your back to reach just a little higher. They have not realized that empowering and cherishing a woman leads to the greatest support and partnership. Elaine will never know this....... Elaine sees my daughters whenever she likes; the daughters she never had are by her side. I live with a heartbreaking void...I don't want them to see me in chains flat on my face...I am free Elaine and I will wait....when they come back to my open arms..... they will see the best I have ever been.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

The Creepers Cont.

I wish that after months of not blogging I'd be able to talk about my fairy tale wedding to the man of my dreams, but there are more pressing matters. And, as it turns out, I look to the lovely followers of this blog to encourage and validate my experience. I have now been divorced since August 2010, Jason May 2010 and both Peter and Jason's X wife have not lessened their attacks to and abuse of either of us. They have united wicked forces to perpetuate lies we both disputed long ago. I wish I could say I’m surprised that their focus remains directly on the two of us, but I am not because we married sociopaths and they behave their parts to perfection.

The week we moved into our current neighborhood, Warren had found a best friend. And his parents happen to be fantastic people. We have enjoyed spending time with them and feel they will all be life-long friends. The boys are like two little blonde haired man cubs the way they play outdoors and climb everything. The other night they were running and jumping at his friend’s house and his friend accidentally kicked his eye. Both parents came to the house immediately concerned and apologetic. Warren was uncomfortable for a couple of days but his eye is healing fine.

On New Year's Eve Warren was really hurt. Jason's 14 year old son, trained in jujitsu, choked Warren to unconsciousness. Warren tried to “tap out” three times and we think Thomas only let go when he felt Warren go limp. This came after Thomas pointed a loaded b-b type gun at his head. Warren thought he was going to die. We have children in our home all the time and nothing like that had ever happened. This event happened while we were eating dinner with neighborhood friends at 8:15pm, guests had arrived at 7:30, all guests were gone by 9pm because Warren was not feeling well at all and he was upset (One week later we had to take him to the ER because his voice had not returned to normal). Jason and I decided at about 3am that we needed to alert the authorities; this was not the first time Thomas had acted out against Warren. Jo has had full custody of Jason's two sons since the divorce and has done nothing but fight for Jason to have less timeshare, and with him having so many deployments and training for operations, she has raised the children. We have them over the summer and breaks, but her incessant and controlling interactions with them leaves us with little or no influence, without hers, and certainly not enough time to affect behavioral change. Jason and I want Thomas to get help and saw this problem as escalating. Strangulation, in many states, including ours, is an automatic Felony  and the charges come from the Commonwealth.  Jason feels as though he is saving his life, if this had happened after 18……Additionally, his two boys are isolated and spend most of their free time playing the most violent video games on the market.  We want there to be an intervention in the home with Jo. We observe many risk factors for violence perpetration and victimization. One being Jo’s and her parent’s constant disparagement of their father, telling them he has replaced them with Warren. If that wouldn't insight anger in a teenage boy, I'm not sure what would. Jo, of course, blames Warren and has not let Jason communicate with either of his son's for nearly a month. Peter has taken the side of Jo, feeding her false information for court hearings. I received the following email from Peter last evening. Note his demands, the use of you and accusations that I hurt children. This is why my story continues; they will not and cannot stop themselves. I will expect the social worker call this week. No more surprises; the sociopaths have become predictable.

Ms. Brown:

Warren appeared on our Skype session on Thursday evening (January 30th) with a significant mark across his right eye and swelling on the same eyelid. Further the eyelid was quite red. I was taken aback and I inquired, of course –perhaps you were listening. Warren reported his friend …. while jumping on his bed clocked him in the eye with an errant foot. I’m not suggesting that isn’t what happened, yet I would have expected by now to have received a report, especially under your current circumstances.

Further, you have a documented history of violence toward your children and now targeting a stepson, Thomas (Did you press charges against….? If so, I would like to know that as well as it involves Warren). Warren being out of school for inclement weather this week means there was no check provided by his teachers.

 Again, I’m not making an accusation. I am expecting on this occasion and on any similar occasion in future to receive a clear report of the incident. I would like to know the date, time, and location of the incident, the individuals involved and any adults involved directly or contacted thereafter, a summary of the incident, and the actions taken as a result of the incident – basically what one would summarize naturally following an incident of this nature. I would like this report today, February 1st.

This is another example of Warren not receiving the benefit of cooperative parenting. The parent acting as custodian –you – has the responsibility of updating the other parent concerning the child’s wellbeing. Obviously, it can’t work otherwise.

Thank-you for responding to this request,

Peter Walton